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Bike-a-thon Update

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:32:00 +0000

P.S. I forgot to tell you that the bike-a-thon was to raise money for missions! We raised $5,000 for Speed the Light (STL). Do you like the initials? They remind me of St. Louis! Anyways, STL is an organization that raises funds to help missionaries purchase transportation (whether it be car, bike, motorized scooter, canoe, whatever is needed in their location) so that they are better able to reach remote areas and share the gospel with those that have not heard it. Pretty cool, huh?!?!

Bike-a-thon

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:23:00 +0000

I am so blessed to live in a place where I can be outside all year long! I absolutely love the sun and running and biking! Recently, I participated in a bike-a-thon with my church. I usually bike 18 miles on Saturdays to visit some friends in North Fort Myers, so I wasn't sure if I would be able to make the 50 mile ride with just two and a half or three weeks before actual bike-a-thon day. But I DID IT!!! Actually, I acheived the 50 mile goal the week before in my training, and I was the first girl and fourth person to finish the bike-a-thon! WHOA! Here I am with the bike my friend let me borrow (she's pregnant right now) to train and my friend Helen, one of the two girls who came to cheer me on! My next goal is going to be something with running. I've been practicing up on that the last two or three weeks, and I'm up to 13 miles! WHOA!!! I never thought I'd be able to run that far, but I am finding I can do so much more than I think I am capable of! I am focusing on perseverance and distance rather than speed, so it's actually really relaxing for me!

Those Fancy Computers

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:13:00 +0000

Like I mentioned in the previous post, I just recently learned that my computer at work has iphoto/can take pictures. Usually, I'm working hard and don't have time to take advantage of this feature. However, recently I've gotten a chance to hang out with the cutest missionary to Ecuador that you can imagine! Her name is Jazzy and she's full of life and joy! Here are a few pictures of us... It's kind of hard to make a silly face and look at the camera part of the computer instead of the window/screen where you can see your face/what you look like!

One of my favorite moments was when we were playing hangman. I couldn’t figure out the puzzle for the life of me! I thought it was all one word, but, as it turns out, it was three. Jazzy's message for me was: “I love you!” How sweet!

I Got a Haircut!

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:08:00 +0000

I'm excited! I don't think I've had my hair this short since first or second grade! I think it turned out great! The members of our board flew down to FL for meetings at the end of January, and the wife of one of the board members offered to cut anyone's hair that wanted a haircut...for free! What a blessing! The picture itself came about when I realized (just recently) that my computer at work can take pictures...so here I am sitting at my desk at work, just after the completion of the haircutting.

Melissa, The Married

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:04:00 +0000

I had the privilege of attending Melissa and Henry's wedding last week. Here they are cutting a delicious German chocolate cake! The bride and groom met during missions training in the summer of 2008, and Melissa was my roommate. Since then she's served in Rwanda from October 2008-May 2009. Currently she is working in a rescue mission with women in the inner city of Milwaukee.

One of my favorite parts of the wedding was when Melissa's coworkers sang (in a way that only African American women can!) and seeing Henry and Melissa smile and laugh together during communion, after they'd prayed together. I love to hear about how they affirm each other! Other excitement includes that two of her friends from Rwanda (Ben and Stephanie) were able to attend the wedding and that she got to Skype with a few friends currently in Rwanda the day before the wedding. Should you know much about African culture, it may also amuse you that Henry gave two plastic cows to Ben as a dowry for Melissa. One of her other friends said, "I told you she cost ten cows!" when they Skyped with him. He had just been listening to Melissa's conversation with one of her Rwandan girl friends, but he pipped up when he heard about the cows! Ben assured him that two was just a down payment...

Don't these look good? Apparently Henry has some quality flower arranging skills! It was neat to see how friends came together to lend table decorations, singing talents, kitchens to cook food, etc.

They did something unique (at least new to me!) with sand....they called it "unity sand." There was one color for the Holy Spirit and one for Melissa's life and one for Henry's life. During the ceremony they poured them all together. It is very hard to separate out sand after it's been poured together and thus it was a symbol of the blending of their lives. Also, they plan to take the sand out and re-pour it each year, to show how their lives are becoming more and more entwined with each other and with God.

I thought this was a cool picture.

Here's Melissa pointing out her new married residence. I had the honor of staying at her place and helping out with pre-wedding preparations. I can't tell you how FUN and how GOOD it was to be around her! She is a woman of great joy! She knows me well! And her faith inspires me and gives me hope!

Here she is at the hair place, opening one of many letters Henry wrote to her. She was instructed to open one each hour until the wedding. How sweet!

Here we are! After many fuzzy pictures taken by strangers that did not turn out (it was pretty humerus how frequent the fuzziness was!), we captured a shot of the two of us right before her and Henry headed out. Yeah!!

Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:19:00 +0000

As I was flying home from Wisconsin where I had the privilege of celebrating the marriage of two friends from missions training (Summer 2008 with NMSI), I was struck by the difference in perspective I had from the sky. I was thinking about how when God sees the world, he sees tiny houses the size of erasers on pencils and squares of green vegetation dotting the Earth. Yet, He also sees a couch in a living room where two friends sit together, clinging to each other as they cry over recent happenings in their lives. Or is present in the church when the eyes of the bride and groom first meet one their wedding day. He sees the far away, zoomed out picture as well as the intimate, up close picture.

Another realization of perspective came during Thanksgiving when I started making a list of all the hard things and good things that happened this year. Though I would characterize the year as “hard,” I was struck that there were at least twice as many profoundly good, meaningful experiences on my list. I couldn’t think of any other hard things. Partly, it hard to categorize some things as “hard” and not “good.” Also, there are several really hard things that were hard to remember or, I’m sure, some hard things that I actually did forget. It made me think about how big and intense those things seemed in the moment, yet even within the same year I can no longer remember them. God has this uncanny ability to see things in the long term like that, not denying that an event is powerful and transforming in the moment but also knowing that there is an element of “temporary” to it that I often don’t see as clearly as He does.

Will you pray that I learn to see from His perspective?

October Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:03:00 +0000

Helen and I organized a Pumpkin Fest at NMSI---complete with a caramel apple bar, pumpkin carving, and costumes! Angela was a tractor (see below) and I was a gummy bear. Check out my claws made out of straws! Several of you have asked about the Belzers....I absolutely LOVE having them here!! The older girls helped organize the games and haul 40 pumpkins onto campus from the Pumpkin Patch. We were so grateful for their help! Here's Mariah, dressed as "Smarty Pants."

Below you can see Sarah dressed as Pippi Longstocking! Maggie was a shooting star (dressed as a star with a nerf gun in hand), but unfortunately I don't have a picture of her.

Yeah for caramel apples! My favorite caramel apple topping is Nutter Butter cookies crunched up! Yum! I delight in peanut butter in any form!

Earlier this month, 30 of us carpooled to Atlanta to attend the Catalyst Leadership Conference. The theme was "On Your Mark," and there were several famous speakers from Rob Bell to Louie Giglio, Chuck Swindoll, Andy Stanley, Dave Ramsey, etc. They said a lot of profound things, which may result in another post later on...

A Reason to Smile

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 04:14:00 +0000

Today I was helping Angie out with some of the kids while Pastor Alex is out of town. Mason (2) and I were looking through a book of animals. We came to a page that had several kinds of fish on it, one of which was a clown fish. "What kind of animal are those?" I asked him. "Nemos," he replied. (Finding Nemo...Nemo was a clown fish...get it!?!)

More Than You Can Imagine

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 04:01:00 +0000

In the Beth Moore study of Genesis (called The Patriarchs), Beth discusses Abraham’s faith in reference to his willingness to sacrifice Isaac, the son of the promise, the son through which God was going to make Abraham’s descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. Abraham figured that if God said Isaac was the child of the promise, and Abraham’s descendants would come through Isaac, then they would. Abraham did not doubt God’s goodness or trustworthiness when asked to sacrifice his only son. Beth pointed out that there had never before been a recorded example of resurrection, but, as cited in Hebrews 11, Abraham assumed that God would raise Isaac from the dead after Abraham killed him; Isaac had to end up alive for the promise to be fulfilled through him. Beth went on to say that often we believe that what is possible with God are things that are probable already. Yikes! God, give us faith to believe that you are capable of things more incredible than we can even imagine! Teach us how to pray with great trust in you! Teach us to assume that you are honest and good all the time!

The Merging of My Worlds

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:11:00 +0000

I have mentioned this in previous updates, but my church here in Florida is feeling more like home. As I look back, I remember it taking a while before Rooftop felt like home, too. I looked around at a BUNCH of different churches for the few months after I moved here and ended up going to this church around March. In April, I got involved in the Sunday night college/young adult worship services. In May, I started going to a small group with the college/young adult girls on Wednesdays. In June, I started going to Sunday School with the college/young adults. In July, I started volunteering in the nursery once a month during the Sunday night college/young adult services (some girls from the Lifeline Pregnancy Center go, along with other adults who help out and have kids). Slowly, but surely, I am getting involved. Though I have hung out with some of the girls from the House (That's what the college/young adult group is called) one-on-one before, and Sarah from NMSI went with me to the House once, it is only now, during August, that my two worlds (NMSI/work and church) are beginning to merge a little.

Two of my new housemates went to the House! They have also gone running or biking with me. I love that they want to be involved in activities I love! That is so NICE!. Furthermore, I invited some girls from the House over to NMSIland (my house) for the first time this very week. I know that the two worlds don't have to merge completely, but I think it is an indicator of increased comfortability in each world that this is happening occasionally. How fun!

As far as other world merging opportunities, I am planning to go back to St. Louis to do some more support-raising and vist family, etc. over the holidays (probably during December). I'll keep you posted as I decide when exactly that will be. I would love to meet up with you during that time!!!

A Blast From the Past

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 00:54:00 +0000

So there are two cool things about being a missionary and sending monthly updates. The first is that I have to take more time to process what God's teaching me so I can explain it to other people. The second is that people write back! I love hearing from people! I love that I get to interact with people that I may not have otherwise!

Case in point: Just this week I got to talk to a former high school youth group sponsor from my church and my elementary art school teacher. How cool is that!?!? Art was by FAR my favorite special class in elementary school! Writing back to her made me think of fun conversation inspired by one of the projects that we did when I was in fifth grade.

Not too long ago, I was telling my friend Lydia (4 years old) about some masks that we made. We put Vaseline on our faces, got some cloth/plastery strips wet, overlapped the strips on our faces with only holes for our eyes and nose, and let them dry. After they set for a few minutes, we pulled them off, scrubbed some crusty stuff off our faces around the hairline, and returned to class. The next few classes we decorated the masks with paint and feathers and such. They were SO COOL because they were individualized...exactly the size of YOUR face! Lydia seemed interested and asked a few questions to better understand the mask making process. Then I told her that we made another mask like that in seventh grade and that my face was a different shape by then. I was thinking about how I had really chubby cheeks in fifth grade and how the mask I made in seventh grade was much smaller, less rounded...my seventh grade face seemed so small when I tried to put it into my fifth grade mask. Lydia, however, stared at me wide-eyed and asked, "What shape WAS it?!?!" It turns out she was thinking my face had literally changed shapes so that it was triangle or square or another "shape." Ha ha!! I love kids!

Interesting Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:52:00 +0000

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain. (in an e-mail from a friend...reminds me of the mystery of how joy and sadness can coexist)

I'm as thirsty as a dehydrated goldfish. (a quote from a video at devos of a really funny guy retelling the story of Gideon)

One Word Testimony

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 08:11:00 +0000

Have you ever thought about what your testimony (story of how God's moved in your life) would be if it was shortened to one word? For example, "God is my ________." I think it's actually kind of hard to decide on one word, but my July words would be:

God is my STRENGTH. (I've been exhausted a lot lately, not sleeping well.)
God is my PROTECTOR. (I don't have to protect myself from other people or from feeling pain or have to live in fear.)
God is my HOPE. (I've been been sad a lot lately.)
God is my RESCUER. (I got a flat tire on my bike.)
God is my REFUGE/HIDING PLACE. (I've been lonely a lot lately, had to say good-bye to a lot of people lately.)

Just a Shadow

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 07:56:00 +0000

About once a week in July, God blessed me with a particularly joyful, grateful, in awe of Him day. When I was journaling about all the ways He'd blessed me at the end of one of those days, I noticed a verse that had stuck out to me earlier that morning, "the law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming" (Hebrews 10:1). Along the same lines, it made me smile to think that this incredibly joyful, meaningful, my-heart-is-so-happy day was just a shadow of how good, full, and satisfying heaven is going to be.

A few joyful July moments:
*seeing Derek and Ashley, friends from Summer 2008 COAT
*finding out Melissa is engaged, friend from Summer 2008 COAT
*playing horse shoes with Rabecca at Fourth of July....making up tons of silly horse shoe throwing positions and movement combinations
*trampling salt with Helen (Matthew 5:13...apparently her salt had lost its saltiness, so we decided to throw a bit on the ground and dance on it)
*flying away like superheros with Jen S. as we left the office building on an errand...woosh!
*making a pirate eye patch for Matt B. to wear while he was mopping (Mopping is always more fun when singing and talking in a pirate accent, ah matey!)
*jumping for joy with Sarah B. at community lunch because it was such a good day and getting others to literally jump with us
*making a birthday sign for Marty and another for IT guy appreciation day---the beginnings of using computer/design skills to encourage others/be humorous/creative
*remembering Laura gave me bubble wrap for my birthday after we saw some people dancing on it in the movie Mr. Magorium's Emporium (a kids' movie) and breaking it out to celebrate the night before she moved. Did you know that the twist is the most effective dance move at getting those bubbles to pop? Overall, the most effective method we found, however, was riding our bikes over it! Later we learned that the ease of bubble popping is directly related to the size of the bubble. The bigger the bubble, the deeper and louder and more easily attained is the popping sound. Now you know :0)

Photo Update: June and July

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:28:00 +0000

This is the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Sometime when I was in elementary school we took a vacation to Florida and we drove over this bridge. My dad got so excited about it (and does about most anything involving water as well) that he ended up with a magnet of it on the refrigerator. Yesterday I called to tell him a mysterious riddle about something big and yellow in Florida that I'd seen that day that he really loves. He thought it was a banana. "Think bigger! Bigger than a car!" There were quite a few clues given before I mentioned that he owned a magnet of it, but then he got it! I must have talked to him and mom for a good hour and a half. It was a really nice conversation---I felt supported and loved. I've been missing a lot of people from back home lately. I think it is because the summer COAT session ends next week and I was in summer COAT last year...it feels like I should be headed home, too.

The reason that was driving over the cool bridge mentioned above is that I was meeting up with Derek and Ashley in Clearwater. It was my first solo roadtrip in Florida! Derek and Ashley were in my COAT class last summer and have been finishing up school and support raising in Illinois and Indiana, where thier families are from. Now they're based in Orlando, where Derek worked a church for some time. We met in the middle at this beach/park. It's amazing how beautiful beaches and parks can be! And confusing how the sun always seems hotter there...

This is me...I was going for a group shot, but didn't think of it until post-swimming, to which Ashley suggested that we do it a different day. They'll be up in Fort Myers for a week in August to attend a support raising seminar. Maybe I'll get a shot of them then. They're really sweet people!

Friday was "Cow Appreciation Day" at Chic-fil-a. A bunch of us dressed up like cows and got a free meal! That's right a whole entire meal free....sandwich, fries, even a milkshake! Quality company, dressing up in silly costumes, free food, ice cream, and fun dipping sauces...can't get much better than that!

This is a close up of my costume. I have some thoughts about how to do it better next time, but didn't have a whole lot of time to make it between work and when I left. The main part is a trash bag with Sharpie spots drawn on. There is a cowbell on my neck made out of a paper plate. The tail is a trash bag with a coffee filter at the end. I had a mask made out of a paper plate, too, but it looked more like a mean pig when I got done with it, so I left it in the car.

This is my upline/boss for Media, Jen. She recently had another knee surgery (she had one this winter, too). Pray for her complete healing and a joyful spirit. She is a huge blessing!

I was feeling particularly silly on the way home from bowling with the COAT group one day. Shane (left) is now married to Helen. Rabecca (yellow shirt) and Beth (middle in the backseat) are two of my favorite COAT people! That was definitely the most high fives I've ever given anyone during a bowling game...an encourager's dream!

This is the bowling group. Megan B. is in the middle back wearing a blue shirt; she's my other favorite COATer and one of my housemates.

This is us with our tough bowling faces. Grrr!!

This is me at Helen's wedding. I went up early with Sarah on Wednesday to hang out and help get a few last minute things done. The wedding was Saturday (June 27). I got to design a really cool prayer card for them to hand out that the reception, which was one of my first (mostly) solo designing something from scratch experiences.

This is Helen at Helen's wedding. Ironically, I didn't take very many pictures that day. I did, however, end up being the one to video the ceremony. I have not had frequent practice as a videographer, but I think it turned out okay. A few weeks later, Ryan S. moved back, who is our resident (and only) videographer and most recent addition to the staff in the Media Department. I'm excited to see what videos he makes about NMSI as a whole, specific countries or projects, etc.

Praises From June

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:47:00 +0000

At the end of my monthly update I mentioned that there was not enough room to write all the praises that I have from the month of June. Here are a few!

*My roommate Helen is got married on June 27, 2009! We met about a year and a half ago through the COAT program and have been growing in our depth of love for one another since.

*Helen’s husband Shane, recently returned from serving in Kenya and has joined the Media Division. Thanks largely to him and Josh, I am learning more about graphic design and am starting to be able to use a little more creativity in my job/contribute to designing pieces from scratch. I am blessed by the increasing unity in our division.

*My Division Leader, Jen D., blesses me regularly and says that I bring out the best in her. Praise that this relationship has grown tremendously since I arrived in January. Praise for all the people here in the NMSI community who speak up and tell me good that they see in me.

*Megan, one of my roommates going through the COAT program right now, blesses me with her boldness and honesty. Praise for several awesome girls in the COAT program that I have been able to start building relationships with (Megan, Rabecca, and Beth). This session of COAT ends at the end of July--pray for their transformation and guidance with future ministry plans.

*This month the college/young adult group at my church in Fort Myers started to feel like home (ironically it is called “The House”). Specific praise for my friends Crystal, Steph S., and Emily N. there and our deepening relationships.

*Praise for my mentor at NMSI, Kylee, a godly woman full of wisdom who loves people deeply. Praise for a deepening relationship and even greater appreciation for her and her family. Pray for her to have a restful summer with them (the twins are four and her youngest is one).

*Praise for Anne’s availability and willingness to mentor me during the summer.

*Praise for an opportunity to do a Beth Moore Bible study (Daniel) with my church and a recent opportunity to do one (Patriarchs) with some girls from the office. Specifically, praise for an opportunity to get to know the leader, Danielle, and her family better!

*A renewed excitement about prayer, specifically induced by incredibly powerful pre-service prayer experiences at “The House.” As Pastor Alex says, “No one should out-pray us for our ministry.” I have noticed a shift from praying mostly for my supporters back home, to praying mostly for those I am in regular contact with here, those I desire to minister to. I think this is a healthy shift that signifies that I am enculturating here and fully investing in the lives of those around me.

*Praise for Pastor Alex and his wife Angie as both have encouraged me through their passion for God as well as their commitment to following up with people in the college/young adult ministry.

*Praise for a road trip this weekend to Clearwater to reconnect with Derek and Ashley, two incredible people who went through the COAT program with me last summer. Pray for successful support raising so they can move back here to work in the Short-Term Projects Division (Derek) and with HIV Hope (Ashley).

*Praise that even though it has been a sadder, harder month compared to the last few, there are still TONS of reasons to praise God!!!

The Incredible Inchausteguis

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:58:00 +0000

I have been so blessed! In the last few months God has filled me with a deep love for the Inchausteguis, a family living here on campus. Monday they left, moving on to support-raising, coursework at Missionary Training International in Colorado, and then ministry in Mexico (to start a Kanakuk-like Christian sports camp).

In His goodness, God allowed me to spend a lot of time win them during their last week here, making signs and cupcakes to get ready for Isabel's sixth birthday party, setting up and playing with the kids at the water area in the park while Shawn and Susan set up at the pavilion for the party, late nights at their house packing things in boxes and cleaning in preparation for the big move, playing with the kids outside (tire swings, tag, restaurant/pretend, tree forts/houses, bike riding!)... Some nights I would come home from their house and just cry as lay on my bed. Spending time with them was so good that it hurt to stop, to come back home...

As I waved good-bye, their silver van headed down the street and tears came... I stumbled home (two houses away) and lay on my bed crying, this time heaving sobs shook my frame. No stifling, not sniffles, but full-out weeping. My tears were tears of love, celebration, and sadness. I realize that God has blessed me profoundly through this family. I celebrate His blessing! I celebrate the Inchausteguis! If I didn't see how good that was, I wouldn't be hurting right now. If I didn't have a heart that loves intensely, I wouldn't be hurting. Pray that I have the courage to continue grieving in this way---healthily, without restraint, not trying to push the sadness down or deny the hurt. I am learning that sadness is not "bad," that it is not sin. So often hopelessness and despair accompany sadness, and those are sins. This sadness, however, is not one of hopelessness. It is a sadness of celebration.

For one of the first times in my life, I am beginning to see how closely joy and sorrow are related, how both can be so profoundly felt at the same time. They are not opposites; they coexist. Anxiety is the opposite of joy, not sadness. I can grieve openly and not worry about falling into despair or depression and "being sad forever" because I can see God moving so much! He is blessing me and providing for me right and left! The other day I literally recognized TEN ways he blessed me in ONE hour! He's crazy about me! He is giving me eyes to see Him work! He reminds me how well He knows me! There is great joy in that!

At the same time, as Oswald Chambers said, "All change is loss. All loss must be grieved." (Thanks for the quote, Ashley!!!) I felt at home in the Inchausteguis' house, like I belonged, was loved, was accepted. At any moment it was okay to have silly, joyful times or ask a hard questions or have a deep conversations. We openly told each other (mostly me and Susan) that we were crazy about each other. Now they have moved. That is a loss. There will be grief. That is natural and healthy.

Let me introduce you to my friends...

Isabel and Kaleb wonder why we have to stop playing in the water to take a picture. The water area was conveniently located near the party pavilion for Isabel's birthday celebration at a park.

You can see Susan in the yellow shirt in the background. She worked really hard to make this a great day for Isabel! A lot of kids from Isabel's kindergarten class got to come, too.

The birthday girl blows out her candles.

There were two pinatas at the party. To break open the first one, you had to pull on the right string. Each kid got to pick one string. The birthday girl started us off...

Shawn, in blue to the right, made sure everyone understood how to do it. Later he blindfolded the kids and spun them around for pinata number two---the traditional, whack it as hard as you can kind.This is baby brother Isaac at the end of all the birthday fun, looking adorable as usual.

Having a picnic in their tree house (the day before they moved)

One beautiful girl!

What I Can't Do, Confessions of a Pride-aholic

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Wed, 20 May 2009 21:13:00 +0000

A bit from my monthly e-mail update because some of you who read this do not get those...

In her Bible study on the book of Daniel, Beth Moore wrote that, “Satan recognizes the treasures God has given us more than we do.” He tries to convince us that we’re bad at the very things that we’re really good at. Satan has been trying to convince me that I’m not good at loving people, but God has been using this last month to affirm that He has gifted me in this area.

Not only that, God’s been pointing out ways that I’m prideful in how I love others (keep praying against that!), so that I can become more effective in ministry. When I try to take on things that are God’s job and not mine, I put a lot of pressure on myself, get tired from working so hard, and feel like a failure (no one on earth can fill His shoes!). When blame myself and don’t recognize what choices the other person is responsible for making, I prevent others from taking ownership of their sin and reduce the potential for them to grow as a result of our conflict. Isaiah 47:10 says, “Your wisdom and knowledge mislead you when you say to yourself, “I am, and there is none besides me.”” This voice of pride is mine whenever I think that all of the good choices, attitudes, or actions OR all of the bad choices, attitudes, or actions are mine in relationships.

I am learning that God is significantly better at knowing people and loving people than I am, and that is a beautiful, freeing thing! I am learning to identify what I CAN’T do in relationships and specify that out loud, in the moment (Check out the growing list of “Things I Can’t Do” on my blog: www.godblogyou.com !). Each time I add something to the list, I grieve that I can’t do something that I thought I could do (I have less control!), celebrate that I am not responsible for doing it (Freedom!), and am grateful that I know that Someone can do it and do it well (It’s God! There’s hope!). By showing me what I CAN’T do, God is lifting the burden of pride from my shoulders and freeing me to put more energy into what I CAN do. I can love. I can point out how I see God working. I can believe. I can point out sin. I can hope.

the new stuff....

Things I Can’t Do:
1. Make people feel loved (I am called to love and encourage people, but people get to choose whether they will receive or reject my love. I cannot control whether or not they believe that I care about them. I can hug them and write them notes until I’m blue in the face, but if they are convinced that I don’t love them, the hugs and notes will not change their mind. That doesn’t mean that I should stop loving them, but it does mean that my ability to love others can not be measured by whether or not they believe I love them/receive my love.)

2. Control people’s emotions---It’s my fault she’s mad, etc. (People choose what to feel, how to react. Someone can lash out at me and I can choose to respond calmly. Or I can choose to feel rejected or betrayed and yell back at them in anger. In both cases, the person’s action towards me is the same. How I chose to respond was different.)

3. Convict people of sin (It’s God’s job, not mine! I can call people out on negative things that I see in their lives or in their interactions with me. The Bible tells us to rebuke others in love; it is important that I do this out of love and not out of judgment or a desire to be right. At the same time, I cannot make others agree that a behavior is sinful or motivate them to desire change in that area. Neil Anderson, author of the Steps to Freedom, says that is misdirecting that person’s battle with God onto myself.

4. Protect people from shame (If someone is ashamed of their sin and does not want to confess it to others, I cannot protect them from feeling shame. In The Wounded Heart, Allender defines shame as, “the dread of being known.” He goes on to say that it is a result of misplaced trust, of letting people determine our acceptability rather than Christ. If we let Christ determine our acceptability, we are sad over our sin and move towards gratefulness for God’s forgiveness and Jesus’ death. It is up to the person whether or not they look to God or to man, whether they choose to feel shame or sadness).

5. Protect people from sadness, prevent people from being sad. (People choose their emotions.)

6. Heal people (It’s God’s job! I cannot give people freedom. I can point out how I see God working. I can point out sin that I see. I cannot give people a desire to seek truth or increase their belief.)

7. Make people love me (To love is a choice. I can love people, but I have no control over whether they love me back. I can be kind, observant, encouraging, thoughtful, honest, and sincere. I cannot convince people that I am worth loving. I cannot be perfect. I cannot earn love.)

8. Make people feel accepted/prevent them from feeling betrayed. (I can assure people that I love them. It is their choice whether to trust that I love them or to feel betrayed when I am loving someone else or focusing on someone else.)

9. Protect people from feeling rejected, abandoned, or like a failure (To feel fear is a choice.)

10. Read people’s minds/meet needs I don’t know about (To be open, honest, and vulnerable is a choice.)

11. Make people be real/admit their sin (I can be honest and open with others, but I cannot make them confess sin, speak truth, be honest, be vulnerable, admit weakness, etc. They control how well I know them. I can ask questions. I can hang out with them. I can love them. I can pursue them diligently. It is their choice whether or how deeply they let me into their lives.)

12. Make people receive hope (I can point out how I see God working. I can propose solutions to solve a problem. I can offer to help or assist. I can be optimistic. It is up to the person whether they focus on the good or the bad in the situation. I cannot make them see the good. Hope is a matter of perspective; it is a choice.)

13. Make people trust me. (To trust is a choice. I can ask people why they do not trust me. I can ask them if I have sinned against them in some way I am unaware of. I can ask forgiveness for my sin. I can seek reconciliation when there is conflict, but I cannot convince anyone that I am trustworthy. I can be vulnerable and honest and put all my thoughts, feelings, and sins on the table, but they get to choose whether they feel safe around me, whether I am worthy of their trust.)

These are also my prayer requests. Just because I realized that I couldn't do these things enough times to add them to the list does not mean that they are not things that I struggle with anymore. Pray that God would continue to convict me of pride and free me to love others well in relationships!!! Thank you so much for your prayers!!!!!!!

Helen, the Beautiful (and the Almost Married)

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:18:00 +0000

We threw Helen a bridal shower today. Here are the tasty eats. Her colors are teal and brown. The shower was outside, in Kylee's backyard.

This is Kylee. She's my mento/counselor/friend.

Helen got a lot of gifts. I think she looks like a model in this picture! Isn't she beautiful!?!? I was the picture taker and it was really sunny, which made it a little tricky and a lot sweaty!

I was also in charge of encouragement. This is the scrapbook I made Helen with a lot of quotes from different people that love her about why they think she's wonderful, pictures of those people, Bible verses, etc. I found some post-it notes shaped like speech bubbles and wrote the quotes people had in the speech bubbles. It was so fun and colorful! I think she liked it. She even cried! Then we prayed for her as a group:

Later we had cupcake decorating! Yum!

Ezra, One EZ Kid to Love!

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sun, 17 May 2009 02:25:00 +0000

This is my friend Ezra. He and his family went through our training program this Spring and left today for the summer. The picture if of us saying good-bye last night. He's a sweetie and I've really enjoyed encouraging him, spending time with him, playing games with him, etc. We've had several Mancala marathons and even played chess a few times! I didn't know how to play chess until I was in high school, so I was impressed that he had the general idea. We got confused about a few pieces because it was an African chess set and the pieces looked totally different than in the standard black and white version I'm used to. Ezra loves games and, even more than that, he loves attention. Not in a "look at me!" show-off kind of way, in a "I'm the middle of three kids and the other two are louder and express their needs more forcefully" kind of way. He has a great personality and makes me laugh!

One last week I got back from a bike ride and was passing by Ezra's house on the way back to my house. Out of the blue, he walked up to me and asked, "Do you want to go on a jog? We could go right down this street, that street, and back here (around the block). I could go change real quick." I said, "Sure!" and was totally amused that he had come up with going on a jog as a fun form of hanging out with me, especially since there was no previous talk of running or jogging going on. Then it cracked me up that he was going to go change clothes. He wasn't particularly dressed up or anything that required changing, but he came back out in baggy green athletic shorts and a t-shirt, ready to go on a run. We asked his mom for permission, and we were off! And he didn't try to run ahead of me or anything either; he stayed right by my side and made conversation. We were actually fairly similarly paced, which I thought was fun, too. I love how he was getting winded, huffing and puffing a little, and quickly found a cool piece of trash on the ground to stop and look at for a minute. I love how obvious kids are, even in their subtlety.

Here he is being camera shy and then laughing.

This is a season of transition, as my roommate Helen moves out and gets married in June, my roommate Laura leaves to lead an internship to Bulgaria this summer, my friend Susan and her family leave Florida to support raise in the Mid-West and then deploy to Mexico, my friend Angela leads an internship to Myanmar and Thailand (also the editor, person who looks over/proofs my work), Ezra and his family leave for the summer, my friend Misty moves back into our house after a few month absence (she was house sitting for some people who were out of town), a new session of the COAT training program starts and someone named Megan moves into our house, my friend Melissa moves back from Rwanda, Shane (Helen's future husband) begins working in Media after an apprenticeship in Kenya, Ryan begins working in Media after support-raising in Oklahoma, and more. A lot of change is coming, and that is a little overwhelming and also an opportunity for growth.

Pray that:

I will let myself be sad, grieve the things I'm loosing and know that it's okay to miss them. Being sad doesn't mean I'm going to be hopeless, it means I realize that those were great things!

That my eyes will be opened to how God is working in my life and the lives of those around me, I would continue to be filled with praise and awe at His goodness, timing, provision, how well He knows me, etc.

My identity would be securely rooted in Him and in His love for me, I'd speak up/speak truth to people/believe my thoughts and opinions and perspectives are valuable, I'd be unshaken by less frequent contact with friends, transitions, etc.

I would become even more self-aware, having a teachable spirit, being humble, to learn what unhealthy patterns I have in communicating, what is unhealthy about how I view others, God, love, etc. That I would recognize my needs and take steps to meet them without guilt or shame (time alone, time with people, counseling, exercise, sleep, etc. Continue to discover and develop the giftings God's given me through trust/see them as gifts

Some friends that went through COAT with me would be able to move back soon (Derek and Ashley); I miss them; they're support raising right now

I'm a Winner!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sat, 02 May 2009 15:57:00 +0000

This morning I ran a 5K (3.1 miles) that a local church was sponsoring to raise money for AIDS work in Africa. I asked a few different people if they wanted to do it with me, but they either didn't want to or were busy, so I ended up going by myself.

I made a friend there who actually goes to the same church as me and the same college/young adult group while I was waiting for the race to start! How fun! We'd never met each other before and ran part of the race together. I thought that was particularly ironic because the reason I got into running in the first place was to build relationships with girls at my home church when they were training to do the Race for the Cure together. Tiff and Rachel, I was especially remembering you today! They are so good at pace setting! And we're similar in speed. AND I just like them a lot! God has been giving me more boldness in initiating contact with non-NMSI people. I think that's exciting!!!

By the way, I got third place in my age division! Can you believe it!??! I got a bronze medal in a race!!! I think that's pretty funny! (Yes, there were only a few hundred people there, so I'm not actually sure how many people there were that were in my age division). But there is still reason to celebrate, especially since it will probably never happen again! WOW!! It is especially wonderful because I just decided to sign up for the race on Wednesday night (this is Saturday/race day) and did a "practice run" on Thursday to make sure that I could still run three miles. Lately I've been biking more than running----I looked up my weekend bike riding route (created by my friend Sarah) on www.mapmyrun.com and it was 18 miles! Isn't that crazy!?!? One of the benefits of living in Florida is consistent sun, which makes me smile!!!!!!!!!!

Do you like my pretend running pose? That's the cord of my camera case on the ground :0)

Did You Get My Newsletter?

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Sat, 02 May 2009 15:19:00 +0000

Sometime in mid-April, you should have received my newsletter. My first official, paper NMSI newsletter!!!! Potentially, you could receive up to three of those per year from me. If you did not receive it and want to, feel free to e-mail me and I'll add you to the list! I'm excited to share what God's doing in my life with the people who love me, support me financially, and pray for me!!!

Here are a few fun pictures...

This is our printer! I've recently learned to order toner, calibrate the printer, and ???

We print things on 11x17 pieces of paper, for the most part, which saves money because we pay "per click" for printing. That means that printing one piece of paper costs the same amount, no matter how large the piece of paper is. After printing multiple copies of a publication on the same piece of paper, we cut them apart with this fancy cutter. There is a lot of laughing that goes on by that cutter because it's hard to push the lever down sometimes. Also, that's where I make most of my mistakes, accidentally cutting of part of a letter of a word or making a cut that is a fraction of an inch off (that matters if you are putting the publication in the folder or sending it to the bulk mail). I'm learning (some days are better than others) that mistakes are not sins, to "cut" myself a little slack.

This is the fancy folder. It has a pretty good beat---when it starts folding it kind of sounds like someone is blasting some loud bass music from the car next to you while you're waiting for a stop light. I am quite grateful for the folder, though, as we recently have printed some brochures for the "How Will They Hear?" campaign (to raise money to build houses on campus to have room to train missionaries that are going to the field) that are on 12x18 paper and consequently are being folded by hand because they do not fit in the folder. So I'm thankful for the folder and Vicki, an aunt of one of our missionaries in Bulgaria, who has been volunteering in the PUB (we call it that here...it stands for "PUBlications" office) and folding brochures and tabbing and labeling newsletters.

Here are some examples of finished publications. Don't they look nice!??!!? These are my friends Derek and Ashley, who will be moving to Fort Myers soon (I hope!!!) to work in the Short-term Ministries division and with HIVHope. It's fun to e-mail people back and forth about the proof of their publication because I get to develop relationships with missionaries that I haven't met and keep up with a few of my friends. Yeah for e-mail!

This is a sheet of address labels, a giant disc of tabs (circular stickers that hold the newsletter together in the mail---we don't put them in envelopes) that I think looks kind of like an old time film reel, and a bulk mail tub. We sort out each newsletter into 1. foreign 2. local 3. all else as we tab and label. We get a cheaper rate on mailing local items (.118 cents) as opposed to all else (.162 cents). So that's a little more about what I do each day! I'm excited to include pictures! I'm at the Bread Co. using their free Internet right now and it totally makes me think of support-raising. I used free Bread Co. Internet a LOT during those months! I guess Florida is not a TOTALLY different world.... :0)

Ways That God is Bringing Me to Life

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:40:00 +0000

This list was originally going to be part of my April e-mail update. God did ALL OF THIS in the last month! Can you believe it!?!? These are experiences when I could say, "This is totally me! This is who I am! I feel so alive!" I remember getting excited about feeling that alive feeling two or three times while I was in Peru during the summer of 2007 teaching English and working in orphanages...and that being WAY more than "normal" at that time in my life. Man, God sure is moving!!! I'm like 500% more alive than I was then! (3 times vs. 16 times in a month)

Ways That God is Bringing Me to Life
1. Helen and I spontaneously made homemade bubbles. Then we used drinking straws to invent various bubble wand prototypes and tried to convince several others on campus to join the fun. I love doing silly, kid-related things!

2. Laura, Kyle, Helen, and I went on a prayer walk around our neighborhood and used sidewalk chalk to write “Jesus Loves You!” and “There’s Hope!” on corners where prostitutes usually stand. I love prayer walking! And I love sidewalk chalk! And I love writing with fun lettering!

3. Jazzy (5 years old, family going through COAT training program here to serve in Ecuador) and I played beach volleyball in my office one morning before work started. Then she did some creative, interpretive dancing and had me copy her for a good half hour. I love how she’s not afraid of her beauty or afraid of how much she loves me!

4. There have been a few times when my housemates and I have read bedtime stories from the Jesus Storybook Bible. I love reading children’s books to other people! I love it when I get the feeling that, “this is exactly how things are supposed to be!” One time we read a passage that said,

“I can’t stop loving you. You are my heart’s treasure. But I lost you. Now I am coming back for you. I am like the sun that gently shines on you, chasing away darkness and fear and death. You’ll be so happy—you’ll be like little caves running free in an open field. I am going to send my Messenger—The Promised One. The One you have been waiting for. The Rescuer. He is coming. So, get ready!”

We acted out the part about the calves running free in an open field with me. We were down on all fours and it was really funny! I love it when people do silly things with me! I love being joyful!

5. Ezra (7 year old whose family is going through the COAT training program here) sought me out to play games with him. I love how kids are really obvious about who they love. His mom invited me to invest in him regularly and be a prayer warrior for her kids. I can’t believe that our friendship just started in the last month! I love to encourage kids, play with them, listen to their stories, ask them questions, invest in them…that makes me feel so alive!

6. Helen came into my office to celebrate about a conversation she’d just had with her father and I had her wear a feathery, purple boa (that was in the package of joy that my church sent me a while back). Then we praised God together, literally praying to Him and telling Him we were super-excited! I got to pray with four or five people that day and it was another one of those, “this is exactly how it’s supposed to be!” feelings. Some of the praying was about sad things, but all of it was looking to God. I love it when he reminds me to do that and I obey him!

7. My friends, the Inchausteguis, are preparing to go to Mexico as missionaries. While Shawn was out of town support-raising for a few weeks, I got to help Susan out with the kids once in a while, which really solidified my friendship with their family. One day I was helping Isabel (5) with her spelling words while Susan gave Isaac (8 months) and Kaleb (3) a bath. Then I read a book to Kaleb while Isabel took a bath. I love teaching! I love remembering games that I used to play with my kindergarten kids (with Word Wall words in this case)! I love reading to kids! I love seeing kids looking all cute in their pajamas! I love it when kids cuddle with me on the couch!

8. I was playing with the Inchaustegui kids in the backyard by myself and felt very responsible, trustworthy, and like I could be a mom. It did made me miss the other kids I had in kindergarten, though.

9. On my birthday I was taking a shipment of newsletters to the Bulk Mail on the other side of town. I didn’t realize how much I miss driving in the car and singing loudly!

10. Helen, Laura, and I had a picnic outside and tried to eat donuts without using our hands, just diving right into the plate mouth-first. I love doing common things in silly ways! I love laughing! I love party games (this event was inspired by a Jell-O eating contest for Little-K in college)!

11. We made a care package to send a few people in the COAT program after they’d moved away to support raise (This session of COAT is over now and the next session starts at the end of May). I love thinking of ways to make people smile! I love thinking of funny reasons why to include each item in the package. I love using post-it notes!

12. My friend Sarah is doing an apprenticeship with YouthHope (a ministry of NMSI that is working to impact global youth and train global youth leaders) and recently finished writing some papers for a college class that she is taking. We celebrated with spontaneous bubble blowing in the office (from the wonderful package from my home church…did you know there are smelly bubbles!?!? These were grape.) I love celebrating with people! I love reminding people that little victories are a big deal! I love it that they share their victories with me!

13. I’ve found some fun clothes on the free table lately, one of which is a pair of bright green pants with thinner pink and brown stripes down them. I like to call them my watermelon pants. I wore them the next day! I love free things! I love silly things! I love that Tera, Ezra’s mom, said, “those are totally you!” (Sorry, Kris, I haven't gotten a picture of them yet.)

14. One day it was really windy and I made a kite out of a paper bag, some sticks, tape, and string during lunch. Susan, Helen, and Laura really enjoyed watching me try to “fly” it! I love being resourceful and spontaneous! God keeps giving me ideas of fun things to do! They just happen! God keeps giving me fun ideas about how to love people! They just happen! Because they’re coming from Him, I don’t have to worry about running out of them! How freeing!

15. About fifty of us gather together to have devotions every morning at the office. Once a week we sing instead of doing Bible study. This was the case on my birthday and all the songs were about God loving us incredibly much. I love worshiping! I love singing! I love connecting to God like that! I love it when I know some of the words to the songs! (There are a lot of new songs here, so that was a special gift. I really miss worship at Rooftop!)

16. On my birthday people were asking me random questions to get to know me better. One of them was, “If you could have any three pets and not have to take care of them, which pets would you want?” My response was, “Can I have kids instead of pets?” I named a few of my favorite kids. That led to, “What was your favorite thing to do with your kindergarteners?” That was a really hard question because I LOVED teaching a TON! I listed a few things, one of which was “sing silly songs with them.” I asked my friends if they wanted to sing a silly song with me, and then they all got up and we sang the “Tutti Tah” by Dr. Jean. It’s a culminating song, like Father Abraham, that ends with you spinning around in a circle and singing with your tongue out and your bottom up in the air. I love singing silly songs! I love songs with hand motions! I love introducing people to fun that they didn’t know about before!

NewsLink's Done, A Song of Celebration!

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 23:53:00 +0000

I wrote this song for my friend Angela, who also works in the Media Division. The number of syllables is not quite right in some parts, but it's pretty close and still conveys the theme of celebration of her accomplishment. I thought Angela should celebrate because she's been working on NewsLink almost exclusively for weeks and weeks and it's done! NewsLink is a magazine that NMSI prints twice a year with articles about what God is doing around the world. If you support me individually as a missionary, then you'll know about my individual ministry because you get monthly updates via e-mail or paper newsletters a few times a year. NewsLink, however, gives you an opportunity to find out about stories from around the world that you might not otherwise know about. This edition is on Myanmar and Thailand. NewsLink gets sent to all the supporters of all the missionaries at NMSI, so we send it out to be printed and then it goes to the Bulk Mail. If you're on my mailing list, you'll get one at the end of May, I believe. If you did not get a newsletter titled, "Profoundly Blessed" in the mail at the end of April, you're not on my mailing list. If you want to be on my mailing list, e-mail me your address. Now for the song... (Oh, Jen is the head of the Media Division...that's important to know for the song).

NewsLink’s Done
For Angela on April 10, 2009
To the tune of “Heart of Worship”

When the NewsLink’s done
Comments by everyone
And I feel relieved
All the type-os fixed
One thing off the list
Celebration for me!

I’ll bring it to the printer
For a large mailing
It’s not the bulk mail this time
So thankful to ha-ve Jen
As we plan ahead
Seek to remember dead-lines

I’m coming back to job va-riet-y
So great at editing
Incredible at lay-out
To tell stories of hope and redemption
Jesus opening doors
And the gospel far reaching

When crisis occurs
God always opens doors
And I simply write
Longing just to bring
His glor-y to light
In a darkened world

I’ll bring it to the printer
For a large mailing
It’s not the bulk mail this time
So thankful to ha-ve Jen
As we plan ahead
Seek to remember dead-lines

I’m coming back to job va-riet-y
So great at editing
Incredible at lay-out
To tell stories of hope and redemption
Jesus opening doors
And the gospel far reaching
(x2)
…Jesus opening doors
And the gospel far reaching

A Normal Day (??)

noreply@blogger.com (Joanne) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:24:00 +0000

A missionary from Cambodia just got back today to raise more support. Another is coming through in a few weeks, about to deploy to Thailand---she was one of the people who led the training I participated in last summer. Today different friend of mine left for Myanmar for a three week project. And I had lunch with a former missionary to Kenya, a quality conversation with a former missionary to Russia, and am hanging out tonight with a couple heading to Zimbabwe at the end of August. I'm constantly amazed at how "normal" it is to be around people who have served all over the world! How crazy! How fun! I am really fortunate to be in this place.